Wow. It's gonna be a long night... or is there such thing as "short night" for me? Haha. Always the nocturnal ever since.

I will be out for a while, tomorrow till Sunday. I will be attending our church's Encounter God Retreat and I am sooo excited. The only thing I am not excited about is missing the cyber world. I am so addicted that I have to pray for this too. Hihi

Anyway, let's get to the drama. Lately, I kept on saying I am bothered, stressed, out of focus and all. Lack of devotion, that's one thing. I miss talking to Him. I miss the comfort. That's one of the reasons why I'm excited for the retreat tomorrow or later... enkk. Hehe.

I've been thinking so hard what to write tonight, again the dilemma was TOO MUCH THOUGHTS, CAN'T ORGANIZE.

Can I do the ever famous RANDOM THOUGHTS again? PLEASE? PLEASE? hehe.

First: I came across the blog of my former suitor's ex's best friend.. (gets niyo?haha),  and I read some that caught my attention, the devotion of her best friend to her ex which happened to be my former suitor, and calling him a douche bag, haha. (mas klaro na ba?) and I thought, indeed, this guy we were talking about might be truly amazing. But for some reason, something went wrong along the way. The guy I thought I knew seemed to be a stranger now. There are some things I don't understand about him, and if he's predictable before, he's like my own Bella, that I just can't read his thoughts these days. When he said we'd be best friends daw, I thought it will work but what I don't want is being bothered by some unwanted thoughts... and he is giving me these. So I decided to cut it out.  (Woooh, now I'm breaking the rule, I am talking about guys... this can't be happening! haha)

Second: In relation to my first random thought, my Ninang asked me once "WHAT'S WITH YOU BEFRIENDING THE EXES or THE GIRLFRIEND OF YOUR EXES and all about EXES?" Well, I don't know, I have this odd collection of closest friends I had come to hate before. Rhea, we had history. C.A, I hated her so much before, yeah say hello to that IMMATURE me, good thing I moved on with the hate and guess what? she's one of my best friends now. I love her. Candy, I didn't actually hate her, it's just so-so. Bea, though we're not really that close now, but again, I was able to overcome all the insecurities kept for the longest time. And of course, Kring, we're like sisters in Christ now. It's odd but I don't know why, these girls were wonderful. And for this former suitor's ex, I offended her once for being insensitive, and we already said our sorry s and all. Though I am blocked and I respected that, good thing about it was that were now fine. And again, I'm sorry even to her best friends, that of which I know who loves her so much. I am not closing the door of friendship, hopefully in the future... and I don't know if I'm being paranoid but for real, I am hearing her inside my thoughts saying "I TOLD YOU SO." And all I could reply was "OUCH"

Third: Commitment. I am not being true to my commitment lately. I said I will sleep early and eat on time but I just can't! How come I can't do this? I still lack self discipline. Awwrgghh! Well, it's a learning process. At least there's progress in being consistent, like blogging, and reading the Bible everyday, and going to prayer meetings every Wednesdays and making my Karte every after all lessons in a day. But hey, I AM STILL LAZY and I hate it. 

Fourth: Blogging. Wow! Loving it lately! Even though I still have little followers, at some point I am glad some people were able to hear my stupid thoughts like this. And I am so much thankful for one or two additions everyday. I hope it'll continue.  Just like what I said on my TOP 10 Things To Do Before Settling Down, I wanted to change the world in simple ways, save a soul through my writings. And this is just the beginning.

Fifth: And like I mentioned earlier, I miss talking to my Best Friend. For like a week and a half I wasn't able to do my daily devotion. That's one reason why I was so preoccupied. Like my brain is full and everything's blurry. Well, if you are asking how important it is for me to do my devotion, here's why... God is my first love. I know that, why? You'll know who your first love is when you wake up in and all you think about first thing in the morning is him or her or it. Some people think about their boyfriends or girlfriends or husband or wife or kids or their dogs or they think about themselves. Me, I know that He is my first love because, devotion or no devotion, it's Him I think about first thing in the morning. If I do my devotion, I think about Him. If I can't, I still think about Him because I feel sorry and sad for not doing it. One way or another, I'm still thinking about Him. Devotion is not a religious act, but it's an act of love. When you have a girlfriend or a boyfriend or a partner, it is your biggest crime if you can't talk to him or her for a day. You have to have your intimate, quality time with him or her. Or it will lead to disaster. Am I right? or am I right? This is why it is so important to me to talk to Him everyday, because it is my intimate, quality time with Him. I am guided by His words. Now, I think I am so misguided. Because I am growing selfish. Hmmm... anyway, I am looking forward for restoration later... That's also one thing I am grateful for, God never leaves. 

Sixth: Again, I'll be out for a while so I'm doing some blogging in advance. Enjoy reading! And followers, readers, passers by.... I LOVE YOU. Thank you... you have no idea how you warm my heart! =))))

Seventh:  Somebody is making my heart smile! His dynamic love makes my heart wonder, will he endure till last? Oh, let's wait and see. =))

To God be the Glory.